I have read the Wife of Bath story before, and I have to
say I did not like it any better after reading it for a second time. I think
the problem is that I keep comparing what I would want most as a woman, and
what this story claims woman want most; the answers could not be further
apart. The bottom line that I gathered from this tale was that woman ultimately
desire power over their husbands, just as the Wife herself boasted of having
over her five husbands. Maybe I find it so hard to connect with is because it
was written in a different time period where woman did not have as much of a
choice as they do now? But even so, I would hope that if I had to live during
that time period I would have wanted to be equal to my husband, or as equal as
I could have been, rather than wanting to outwit and control him.
Also, I wanted to talk about the end of the story and how it was
annoying that the guy got to have a beautiful and kind wife just because
he gave her a choice. "My lady and my love, and wyf so dere, I put me in
youre wyse governance: Cheseth youreself which may be most
pleasance." (1236-1238) In the real world you get what you get; we
can only change by improving ourselves, or resorting to plastic surgery. We
can’t just be beautiful by willing it to happen. I know this is fiction of course;
it just annoyed me because that part was not applicable to life today for me.
I agree with your thoughts on wanting to be equal in a relationship. However, I think it is important to remember that every person is different and we all want different things. It is easy to disagree with wanting power over your husband, but the women of this time had no power at all. The women in Beowulf weren't even given names. I think they wanted power over their husbands because that was the one place they could possibly see a change in.
ReplyDeleteIn theory, I agree completely about wanting an equal relationship with my husband. In practice, there are many things in which I want to exert my will over him, and many things I'm fine with him having his way, because one or the other cares much more about certain issue. (This is not hypothetical; I'm married.)
ReplyDeleteThe fact of the matter is in any relationship, one person or the other is more invested. One person or the other is the one to wear the pants. Statistically speaking, about half of the relationships in the world that involve a man and a woman should have a man in charge and the other half should have a woman. Any given couple has to decide among themselves who gets 51% of the vote. If this can't be decided, then unfortunately the relationship will probably fail.
Now, if the laws of the time only allow for men to be in charge, well, then that poses a problem. Back then, a woman who couldn't stand living with a husband who kept trying to wear her pants had no recourse beyond waiting to become a widow. This is, in my opinion, an example of restoring equilibrium by pendant. It has to swing too far to the other side before we can settle in the middle.
I totally agree with you here! Some of the things the women wanted in "The Wife of Bath's Tale" were kind of annoying. They wanted sex, nice things, etc. But what about equality in your relationship? A voice in society? Or maybe even the chance to have a legitimate job and education? It seemed as if the women of the Medieval Time Period were okay with not really being a part of their society. This is a problem! However, great blog post and topic!
ReplyDeleteI agree that equality in a marriage is an important thing to hope for, but I can see where women would wish to be dominate over their husbands. With husbands being the ones in control, I think it is understandable for women to want and imagine that power shift, and to be in position where they make the rules.
ReplyDeleteHowever, for the Wife of Bath, while she does point out the areas where she is in control, I do think that when it came to her last husband she became an equal partner. While he said she can be in charge of his life, she in turn behaved as a good way. Maybe it is not so much that women have power, but they are offered the power.