First of all, he fell in love with Alisoun at first sight. We all know this is in fairy tales, which makes sense because this story is fictional, but it is still crazy. I personally believe he just thinks she is really pretty and he longs to kiss her, or have sex with her...probably both. Chaucer writes that Absolon looked at the carpenter's wife and "thoughte a mery lyf" (77, 3344). How can he picture a happy life with her when he knows absolutely nothing about her but her looks?
The second thing that made me wary of Absolon were these two lines: "I dar wel seyn, if she had been a mous/And he a cat, he wolde hire hente anon" (77, 3346-47). If I'm not mistaken, cats catch mice in order to kill them. Sure, some cats like to catch mice so they can play with them, but that mostly ends with a happy cat playing with a dead mouse. This is the metaphor Chaucer came up with? Two things that do not like each other? Then again, if you think about it, it kind of makes sense. Absolon is the cat and he really wants to be with Alisoun, the mouse. Cats love catching mice. Mice are terrified of cats, and Alisoun wants nothing to do with Absolon. However, this explanation just further proves that Absolon is creepy.
I think that is an accurate depiction of what the cat version of Absolon would look like.
The third and final thing that made me question Absolon's sanity is when he burns Nicholas' butt. HE BURNS HIS ASS. Can we all take a moment to appreciate how much that would hurt? Yes, I know Alisoun tricked him into kissing "hir naked ers/Ful savourly" (85, 3734-35), but did he really have to resort to burning Nicholas' butt? Could he not just realize that Alisoun does not like him and move on? Or perhaps he could have punched Nicholas in the face. That would be preferable to burning him. I bet Nicholas is going to have fun sitting down for a while. Oh, Absolon. you crazy cat man, you.
I just wanted to point out, from my experience growing up with cats, a well-fed cat just loves playing with a mouse, but once it gets hurt too badly or stops running away it quickly loses interest and will move on to something else. This is the behavior that I imagine when I read the passage you cited. I agree that his behavior and interest is a bit creepy, but I don't think I feel so strongly as you do about it. But then maybe I'm just biased, being a cat lover.
ReplyDeleteAbsolon is full on creeper-tastic. He clearly has impressive self control issues and is very ill-fitted to his occupation. A clergyman checking out the church wives? It's weird! Then burning Nicholas...this guy is nuts. (Not that Nicholas didn't deserve it). The cheshire cat seems the perfect example of how crazy Absolon really is.
ReplyDeleteOmg Taylor, this is hilarious! I totally agree with everything you've mentioned. Absolon only wanted Allison because she was attractive. He didn't want anything but sex or a "kiss. Love was not his option when he approached Allison. Which is kind of messed up in multiple ways, but that's like the boys in the world today (very immature..just saying)! Also, the idea of the cat and mouse that Absolon uses in order to make a comparison of him and Allison was kind of awkward. Who thinks of things like that ? (weirdos..that's who). Anyway, this is a great post! It opened up my thoughts and ideas a lot more. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Absolon has some serious issues. I think the pursuit that all the men have to get Alison is creepy, but I think Absolon bothers me most. Mainly because I do not understand the escalation of events. He literally kissed her but he, which yes would be embarrassing, but then to try to stick her with a hot poker? Then he didn't even get he he got Alison. Alison and Nicholas had a mean practical joke, but I think this escalation is insane, and in my opinion, shows Absolon as a crazy unstable person.
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